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Superstitious Stimpy (transcript)

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Ren:Hey! What's with all the consarned banging? I'm trying to read!
Stimpy:Don't you know what TODAY is Ren? It's Tuesday The 17th, the unluckiest day of the year!
Stimpy:You see Ren..when the moon enters Lebra, and the House of Confluince shifts into retrograde, Virgo erupts under pressure from Mercury. This causes the planets to align in a conga line, of chaos and disaster!
Ren:And what does that have to do with nailing a boar's head to the wall?
Stimpy:Well, we need to de-luckify all that unlucky unluckiness. And a mounted boar's head is notoriously lucky! (smooch) You should try it Ren! Come on, kiss the pig on the mouth.
Ren:You are a brainless spaz! Don't you know an old husband's tale when you hear one? Cooked up by the Boar's head industry to make money off suckers like you.
Stimpy:Stop it Ren! Don't you know it's bad luck to ridicule superstitions? Must counteract bad ju-ju! (grunting) Ahh... that's better.
Ren:Now I'll show you what we do with stupid superstitions. Huh?
Boar's Head:So, stupid superstition am I?! Now I'll show YOU what we do with lousy boar's heads theives!
Stimpy:Wow, lucky for him we found his head, eh Ren? Ren? Uh-oh, head imbedded in ceiling. More bad ju-ju! (grunting)
(flames roaring)
Ren:Well, it's time to start the barbeque. The coals are ready, all we need is the meat. Hey Stimpy! Run and fetch me that side of beef out of the meat locker.
Stimpy:But Ren, barbequeing indoors is terrible bad luck! (spatula slaps)
Ren:Get in there and get my MEAT!!
Stimpy:Poor Ren, he's in mortal danger. He leaves me no choice!
Ren:Now where is that bone-head with my carcass? He's been gone for a half hour. My fire's dying down!
(Stimpy chanting)Oh great exalted ju-ju mambassa, please accept this filthy offering, so that one day..Old Lady Misfortune will neer again..hock phlegm in our face again.(lightning crashes)
Ren:Is that my beef carcass?
Stimpy:Yes it is, Ren. Beef carcasses are very lucky you know, once we immerse it in common house o-bile.
Ren:What?! That meat goes in my mouth! Not in your bile!!
Stimpy:But, but Ren..Tuesday..17!
Ren:(grunts, glass shatters)
Stimpy:NOOOO!!! You've done it now Ren! It's TERRIBLE bad luck to toss your carcass on the bed!
Ren:I wave my shiny red keister in the face of you, and your stuper-stitions!
Stimpy:No Ren! It's bad ju-ju to blaspheme!
Ren:Ju-ju, eh? Ooh, I'm so scared! The big bad ju-ju's gonna get me. Come on, ju-ju!! I'm callin' you ouuuut!!!(lightning crashes) Ow, ow, ow, ow...
Stimpy:Ha, ha. Gee Ren, I guess you didn't know it was bad luck to---
Ren:(thunderously) Get in the hoouuse!!!!!!
Stimpy:(scared)Yes sir.
Ren:Well here I am, cooking my side of beef, on a bed full of hats, under an open umbrella, under a ladder! While a black cat crosses my path.
Stimpy:Uh, Ren? It..it's bad luck to---
Ren:Shut your festering cakehole! I'm gonna prove to you that there ain't no such thing as ju-ju, and that you, are, a..MORON! Now get back to crossing my path blacky, and don't forget to step on those cracks! (laughing maniacally) Well, I'm waiting, and nothing's happening. I'm perfectly fine, there ain't no ju-ju, and you are still the undisputed king of morons! Now what have we learned today?
Stimpy:Umm, uh..ah, ummm...
Ren:All superstitions..
Stimpy:Um, all superstitions..
Ren:Are fake..
Stimpy:Are fake..

Ren:And you are an idiot.

Stimpy:And I am a idiot. duhh, I get it Ren. You mean that all superstitions are stupi and the only ones that believe in them are a idiot. Which is me.

Ren:exactly.

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